#86: Salisbury, MD 2/13/17

Normally when a city council meeting is described as “lively,” that means everything is spinning out of control. But at Salisbury City Hall, the only “stuff” hitting the fan was sugar, spice, and everything nice.

As citizens milled about and staff hustled to put the finishing touches in place, a lone man planted himself in front of Councilman R. Hardy Rudasill’s face and pointed a cell phone.

“Are we rolling?” Councilman Rudasill asked, staring into the camera. “I love Salisbury because there’s no better place to live. It’s easy to get to work and it’s easy to get to the bars. You gotta love it!”

Rudasill let out a hearty guffaw and gave a high five to Mayor Jacob Day. Look for him on a YouTube, Snapchat, or Instagram account near you.

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Get a room, you two.

“Before we get started,” warned Council President Jack Heath, “I’d like you to please silence any electronic devices that will make noise.”

He paused. “Kids are cool. I know there’s no buttons to do that.” The room exploded in laughter.

Unfortunately, those aforemntioned kids didn’t seem quite so “cool” when an infant began bawling during a church deacon’s opening invocation.

“Dear heavenly Father, we’re so thankful–”

Waaaah!

“–for our mayor and our council–”

Waaah!”

“–and the people here who love Salisbury so much, Lord,” he finished with a hint of exasperation.

But still, the energy in the room was through the roof. As the council rolled through various mundane items–honoring a nonprofit foundation, hearing from the youth advisory committee, purchasing some property–each was punctuated by sustained applause from the audience.

Their enthusiasm seemed to bewilder Council President Heath. “It’s a good night!” he observed incredulously.

Then it was time for the big-ticket item. The elephant in the room. The bull in a china shop.

The Salisbury Arts & Entertainment District.

“I ask that you keep your comments to three minutes, four minutes,” Heath admonished the public. He would bring down the hammer on any filibusterers–unlike his laissez-faire attitude toward crying babies.

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“As you can see, if you go over your time, I have plenty of things to throw.”

A woman in a bright yellow sweater popped up to the podium. “Forty-five seconds max,” she predicted.

“Oh, no–” Heath protested, but she had already begun.

“I am here tonight because we [my family] are not ‘from-heres,’ we are ‘come-heres.’ We were a family that was looking for a way to belong to this community, and the Arts & Entertainment District gave us that.”

I’ll be damned. It was exactly 45 seconds.

The next commenter took the long way to the podium, conspicuously waving at Mayor Day. The mayor glanced up from his computer.

“Hey, dad.”

“This is Jake’s OTHER dad,” the council president quipped. Everyone laughed at the apparently-inside joke.

“I’m a lot older than him, even though I don’t look it,” Papa Day shot back to more chuckles.

After Day’s testimony, the council voted in favor of the Arts & Entertainment District. A giant cheer went up–and just as quickly, people rushed for the exits.

“Don’t leave us!” Councilman Rudasill and Councilwoman April Jackson pleaded.

“You didn’t read the small print that says you have to stay till the end!” Council President Heath called out.

But alas, they were gone.

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This is the opposite of an Irish Goodbye.

Final thoughts: I give 10 out of 10 stars to the Salisbury Arts & Entertainment District for being so dang popular.

Interview #35: Thames Centre, ON Councilor Kelly Elliott (with podcast)

This podcast interview is available on iTunes, Stitcher, Player FM and right here:

This is exciting: Kelly Elliott is the first Canadian councilor on the podcast! You probably know her as the co-founder of “I Love Thorndale” and a player in the “Girls With Balls” hockey league. But did you know she was embroiled in a dust-up over so-called illegal council meetings?! (Also, Thames Centre council meetings need more viewers, stat!)

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Q: There’s something we’ve gotta talk about: Thames Centre is a municipality. Here in the U.S., “municipality” usually means city or town. In a few states, they’ve got boroughs or townships, but those states are weird and frankly they should be kicked out of this country. What is the “Municipality of Thames Centre?”

A: The municipality was actually two townships that amalgamated in 2001. Our municipality is mostly rural areas. We have two villages and a handful of little hamlets.

Q: What would it take for you to become a city? 

A: I don’t know what the full step is!

Q: Well, I called up my boys at the Ministry of Municipal Affairs for Ontario. It turns out, municipalities can decide what to call themselves. If you wanted to start being the “City of Thames Centre,” you just have to change your stationery and business cards!

A: We’re nice rural country folk. We don’t want to be known as “city!”

Q: I noticed that the mayor wears a very ornate necklace. What is that thing and what kind of powers does it give him?

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The mayoral necklace

A: It doesn’t give him much more powers. The mayor has exactly the same weight of vote as anyone else on council. He just leads the meeting and keeps everyone in line.

Q: In October 2016, the deputy mayor said that some councilors were holding “illegal meetings.” Apparently, one day after a council meeting, Councilor Alison Warwick, Councilor Jennifer Coghlin, and you were sitting in the chamber talking about your son who was in the hospital for a head injury. Is that where this misunderstanding came from?

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Thames Centre, ON Councilor Kelly Elliott

A: That’s right. Having three of us together is quorum. So without a clerk, that would make it an illegal meeting IF we were discussing or furthering the business of the municipality. Of course, we weren’t doing that. But the deputy mayor had thought we were possibly discussing municipal issues.

Q: Did he come over and ask what you were talking about?

A: Probably a great thing would’ve been to come chat with us and he would’ve seen what we were discussing! But we just had a meeting on Monday–everyone was getting along.

Q: Do people show up at the council meetings to give you a hard time?

A: I wish we had more people like that! Our gallery is pretty bare for the majority of meetings. Not many people come just to watch us.

Q: So you would be okay with people showing up to criticize you because that means at least they’re showing up?

A: At least they’re coming, at least they’re caring what we’re talking about. When we see empty galleries, it makes you feel like you’re not doing anything important.

Q: Well, this is Canada, so you’re not doing anything important–

A: Oh, that’s rough.

Q: I’m kidding! I might need to be a refugee there in a couple of months….

Follow Councilor Kelly Elliott on Twitter: @kellyelliottmcm

#85: Clarence, TAS 2/6/17

It was one heckuva g’day in the Clarence city council chamber. And right up top, I need to give propers to the head honcho behind that blinding yellow dais, Mayor Doug Chipman, for the classy way in which he kicked off the meeting:

“Before proceeding, I would like to acknowledge the Tasmania aboriginal community as the original inhabitants of this land out of respect to elders past and present.”

Good onya! Normally, one does not see American city council meetings acknowledge the native peoples–unless they are a mascot for the local high school football team.

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View from the Rear Cam (L) and the Is-There-Vegemite-In-My-Teeth Cam (R)

Oh, and what luck that the council chamber has two cameras! I can see that there is PLENTY of space on the walls–which will come in handy becauuuuuuseeeee…

“We received a plaque from the Australian Government Department of Immigration and Border Protection thanking this council for its long contribution over many, many years towards the new citizenship program.”

The mayor flashed the shiny, shoe box-sized prize around the room. “So, that’s quite an impressive-looking plaque.”

Ripper! You could fight off a decent-sized boomer with that prezzy.

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Mayor: “That’s not a plaque. THIS is a plaque.”

Slowly, Alderman Richard James rose for a quintessentially Australian purpose: to brag all about his weekend hike. “I would like to draw council’s attention to the Blessington Coast Track. We walked it on Sunday. For those who are pretty quick on their feet, I reckon you could do it in 20 minutes at a jog.”

He added, “it took us three-quarters of an hour. But we had a swim.”

He calmly recalled his treacherous journey along the Australian coast. “The track in parts is very steep, particularly up on the cliff. And there’s quite a drop. So I’m not sure as to whether there may be some barrier required on the track.”

Whoa there, mate! This is Australia. Country of the Crocodile Hunter! Heavy drinking! And our near-future adversaries in WWIII! Unless you’re talking about a great reef, there will be no “barriers” along a deadly, dangerous coastline, K?

As it turned out, Alderman James had a surprise that he pulled out of his bloomin’ onion: “The Kangaroo Bay track–it is open to the public,” he proclaimed, turning to the mayor. “Is it possible for us to have a little bit of a celebration?”

Everyone in the room held their breath. Mayor Chipman stared intently like a dingo eyeing a baby. “We can arrange that,” he allowed.

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A typical Australian party

But there was one more bit of business, and it came with an ominous-sounding name: “questions without notice.” The idea? A reckless and dangerously unstable concept that ANY alderman can ask ANY question of ANYONE.

I’m already recoiling. Please, be gentle!

  • “Do we have the traffic count figures?” grilled Alderman Peter Cusick.
  • “Are you aware of other councils in Southern Tasmania that are providing after-hours school care?” raged Alderman James Walker.
  • “I would like to know if the toilets at the Lauderdale Yacht Club–if there’s been any thought to their design,” erupted Alderman Debra Thurley.

Yowza. I need a Foster’s after that white-hot earbashing. Longtime Chronicles readers will know that I like my aldermen’s questions like I like my women: with PLENTY of notice.

Final thoughts: You know what? Better stick to North America….I think Australian city councils are a little too intense for me.

#84: Cape Girardeau, MO 2/6/17

There’s an old saying in the Midwest: the only thing more unpredictable than the waters of the mighty Mississippi River are the Cape Girardeau city council meetings.

More than a dozen onlookers chatted breezily, flipping through agenda packets. A dog yipped from somewhere in the back row as the meeting was gaveled to order. The dais was light two council members–Bob Fox and Wayne Bowen left empty chairs and broken hearts in their absence.

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If anyone recognizes this man, please tell me what his shirt loves.

But the time for mourning faded quickly, as city manager Scott Meyer whipped the crowd into a frenzy with a tale of heroism and intrigue.

“We had one nice story about something our employees do all the time: going the second mile,” he bragged to the audience. “We recently had a firefighter who, in taking care of a trucker who had to be taken by ambulance [and] was really concerned about his truck….He took it upon himself to go the second mile and to take care of that truck and get it safe and secured.”

Council members leaned forward eagerly as Meyer proudly added, “and that’s just something your friends and neighbors do every day.” Yes, every day the streets are chock full of abandoned–but well taken care of–trucks.

Then without warning, the city manager veered off script.

“One more announcement. Julia’s gonna make that for me,” he smirked.

Council members swiveled their heads quizzically toward the podium. I don’t like the looks of this. How bad is the news that he had to outsource it?!

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This man is contemplating how quickly he can bolt for the exit.

“Thank you, Scott,” smiled Julia. “It’s my distinct pleasure and honor to announce that our mayor, Harry Rediger, was accepted as the Outstanding Public Official for this past year!”

Cheers and whistles exploded in the chamber. The dog howled. Mayor Rediger sheepishly flipped through his packet.

“I didn’t see that on the agenda,” he quipped.

“No! We were trying to keep it a surprise,” exclaimed Julia.

The mayor flashed a big grin.”Well, you did!”

Who says there are no secrets in small towns! In fact, I bet those two missing council members were about to spill the beans–until Julia took care of them. (Permanently.)

Julia advised His Honor to mark the ceremony on his calendar. “At our conference in Branson on March 9, we’re hoping you’ll be able to make it.”

The city manager lurched in his chair. “March 9?! That’s the night of a strategic plan meeting.” He feigned begrudging acceptance and clapped a hand on the mayor’s shoulder. “But you can miss ONE.”

Mayor Rediger was still a wee bit embarrassed from all the attention. “I told ’em I was gonna go to every one of them!” he said apologetically to the city manager. Then he turned to Julia.

“I can make that.”

After all that excitement, the meeting moved swiftly and uneventfully to a close. Even the chicken ordinance, which normally would get my feathers ruffled, failed to take flight.

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Gentlemen, aren’t our animals regulated ENOUGH?!

Final thoughts: For being able to pull off a surprise, I give Julia and the city manager 10 out of 10 strippers-jumping-out-of-cakes.

Interview #34: Fort Lauderdale, FL City Manager Lee Feldman (with podcast)

This podcast interview is available on iTunes, Stitcher, Player FM and right here:

For two decades, Lee Feldman has been a city manager all around the Florida coast. Currently he is the big cheese in Fort Lauderdale, which has its share of commission meeting drama. We talked about Florida’s causal meeting attire and what council members may really be doing when they’re not looking at public commenters.

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Q: You are the city manager of Fort Lauderdale. So, sir, my first question is: how many wet t-shirt contests have you judged?

A: None. Actually, Spring Break–as you may think of–has long gone from Fort Lauderdale. Back in the ’80s, the city fathers felt that Spring Break had gotten a little out of control. They wanted to see the beach evolve to something different, so Spring Break ultimately moved away.

Q: Can you think of anything you’ve done as Fort Lauderdale’s city manager that you think no other city manager in the country might have done?

A: Well, I’ll tell you one. In Florida when you have a quasi-judicial item, you have to be sworn in to give testimony. Our previous process gave you an orange sticker to indicate you were sworn in. I encouraged the clerk to replace that sticker with a sticker that says “I Love Fort Lauderdale.” I’m not sure anybody else in the country has done that.

Q: [Laughs] Yeah, I wouldn’t expect Reno to have stickers that say “I Love Fort Lauderdale!” I noticed in your city commission meetings that some public commenters wear t-shirts, shorts, and baseball caps. Do you find that a little too casual?

A: Over the last 30 years, I’ve seen a general relaxation of meetings. You’ve probably seen some council members that wear t-shirts and ball caps and shorts–

Q: Not yet!

A: You’ll probably find a few, especially in the retirement-oriented communities.

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Fort Lauderdale, FL City Manager Lee Feldman

Q: When you were in Palm Bay, there was a contentious city council meeting over the city’s contract with firefighters. Some of them stood up and said, you don’t care about us. Or, cut your pay. What do you want to say to them?

A: We value the work and effort of every employee. Everybody contributes differently. I remember around that time, these anonymous blogs started showing up and somebody blogged that I had gotten a huge raise, which was not the truth. I got a call from my mom–she was yelling at me about “how dare you take a raise when you’re telling others that they need to have changes?”

Q: Some people express concern in public comment that the Fort Lauderdale commissioners aren’t listening to people. I’ve got to say, from watching a few meetings, that seems largely correct.

A: I think our commissioners get a bad rap…we have electronic agendas now. All of our commissioners and myself use our iPads. As people are speaking and referencing things, we will be looking down at the iPad to see what they are talking about.

Q: How can public commenters get your attention and most effectively make their case?

A: The best way to make a case is to know the issue, be able to state the facts, and it’s okay to even get emotional. I’ve seen speakers tear up because the item means so much to them. But the most effective way is to remain civil.

Follow Lee Feldman on Twitter: @leefeldman

#83: Omaha, NE 1/31/17

Some people celebrate their 80th birthday in the comfort of their home. Others do it during a 3 p.m. “dinner” at Bob Evans.

But only the wokest of octogenarians get a VIP ceremony in their city council chamber.

“I had the opportunity to attend a very special birthday party–with a YOUNG lady celebrating her 80th birthday–and I decided we ought to do a proclamation,” announced Council President Ben Gray with a wide grin.

“Rachel learned to drive and work three jobs to support her family,” he rattled off her biography. “Nurturing over 100 children through foster care is something special. Sometimes heroes are not people you see on television or read about.” (Mr. President, the Chronicles begs to differ!)

“I DID ask for Rachel to bring her birth certificate because I didn’t believe the 80-year-old story,” he joked. Or, at least, I thought it was a joke until he handed the shiny proclamation to a distinguished lady who didn’t look a day over 50!

“We’ll see you in another 80 years!” Gray cracked as the council roared with applause.

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Who knew that the secret to staying young was being a good person?

Alas, no sooner had the metaphorical candles been blown out than one councilmember went for the jugular.

“You know the history of that site. It certainly has had issues,” Councilmember Garry Gernandt frowned deeply as he stared down a stocky man who owned a scrap and salvage yard.

“We pick up the neighborhood and clean up and try to be a good neighbor,” the man retorted. “We haven’t had any major problems that I know of.”

NO problems?! Gernandt couldn’t believe his eardrums. “One of those complaints when you first took over was the proposed truck traffic into your facility–allow me to finish!” he thrust up a hand to silence the man’s protest. “My question: what are your hours of operation?”

The answer: “Approximately 8-5 daily. Eight to noon on Saturday. We’ll do a better job of recycling and maybe keep things a little cleaner. Make the health department happy.”

Amen, no one likes a dirty scrapyard. Get some organizing bins for those rusted-out car chassis!

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“I’ll be THIIIIIIIIIIIS happy.”

No sooner had Mr. Scrapyard stood down than a feisty woman in a ball cap leaned onto the podium. The subject: a special tax for cutting and clearing weeds. Her mood: enraged.

“Since I see you putting taxes on cutting the weeds and stuff, I wanted to know: are y’all going to be taking care of your OWN property?” she broadsided the unsuspecting council.

“The city has several lots in North Omaha which they do not maintain or keep up. Are y’all gonna tax yourselves?! I’ve been keeping the lot cut next to my property–which belongs to the city!

“Do I get reimbursed for cutting the yard?” she demanded in a blazing rhetorical ambush.

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“I’ll wait while you use the ATM.”

Wow, talk about speaking truth to power! I believe the engineers will have to examine City Hall’s foundation after the way it was SHAKEN just now.

“I don’t think we work that way,” responded Council President Gray through a forced smile.

Councilmember Rich Pahls offered meek words of encouragement. “If we’re gonna put the pressure on property owners, we ought to take a look at ourselves. Something tells me something’s going to get done. If not,” he shrugged, “come back.”

Final thoughts: Recycling at the scrapyard? Cutting down weeds? I give 10 out of 10 stars to cleanliness!

Special Feature! “Best Thing, Worst Thing”

It’s a tumultuous time, so it is important to get involved locally. We at the Chronicles are doing our part with the “Best Thing, Worst Thing” project! For an explanation, check out the page here. If you like storytelling and municipal lore, I think you will enjoy hearing residents wrestle with the good and challenging parts of their city at the same time.

So get comfortable, imagine you’ve been teleported to the Midwest, and head over to the City Council Chronicles podcast to download the latest episode. Or you can play it below.

Episode 4: Raymore, Missouri

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Photo source: City of Raymore

Raymore is 25 miles south of Kansas City in Cass County, Missouri. The population is 20,000. It is largely a bedroom community for people working in the big city or in nearby Kansas. For a long time, Raymore was stagnant–hovering around 500 residents. But starting in the ’70s, the city grew up fast. It is largely white with a higher-than-average median income, and along the main highway are numerous retail and big box stores. Raymore also has had some interesting political twists and turns. In this episode, we hear from a librarian, a marketing analyst, a doctor, and a husband-and-wife pair that runs a newspaper.

Interview #33: Lewisville, TX Councilman TJ Gilmore (with podcast)

This podcast interview is available on iTunes, Stitcher, Player FM and right here:

TJ Gilmore has been a city councilman since 2011. He’s also a Scoutmaster, an occasional tweeter of council meetings, and someone whose dad once came to watch him at city hall. He told me about the time someone got kicked out for using a naughty word!

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Q: Some people probably don’t know that Texas has its OWN pledge of allegiance that you say at council meetings after the national Pledge of Allegiance.

A: That’s very true!

Q: When you moved to Texas and first heard the pledge, did you think, “this is cool! It’s doubly patriotic”? Or did you kind of roll your eyes and think, “this is such a quintessentially Texas thing to do”?

A: It is a totally Texas thing to do. When I was a small child, my father took a job in west Texas and I encountered it there for the first time. When we came back to live here in 2000, it popped back up and I went, “oh, there it is!”

Q: Can you remember any unruly or unexpected moments from your city council meetings?

A: The most entertaining one was almost two years ago, I think. We had a gentleman come in with his girlfriend and he decided that he wanted to talk about the Lewisville Lake Dam. We have a dam that’s run by the [Army] Corps of Engineers. It was in the news because it needed some repair.

Q: Mmhmm.

A: So he came in and was–I don’t know if he was showing off for his young lady–but he decided that he would go into a tirade about why the city was not fixing the dam. It’s run by the federal government, so when he was given those facts he decided to curse. At which point, Mayor [Rudy] Durham said, “that’s it, you’re out!”

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Lewisville, TX Councilman TJ Gilmore

Q: Did they look like they were on a date? Or were they coming in because they were concerned about the dam?

A: I got the vibe that he was there to show off. Speak truth to power or something. That would be the first time I ever heard anybody drop the F-bomb in city council.

Q: I have noticed how relatively non-eventful Lewisville city council meetings are–which is what made this Facebook post of yours stand out to me:

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What do you remember from that meeting?!

A: It went fine! My dad is 6’4″. He still rides horses and used to work for Sheriff Joe Arpaio as a prison guard. He tells it like it is.

Q: Well, he should be the one to kick people out if they’re f-in’ around in there!

A: There’s one thing I know in my family: I’m not ever gonna be allowed to allow my ego to overstep its bounds.

Q: One council moment I want to ask you about…in September 2011, Councilman David Thornhill died of a heart attack. The next council meeting, there was a tribute video with pictures of him and a eulogy from his son. Is it hard sometimes to be fully present in the council meeting when something like that goes on?

A: Oh, sure. Part of the importance of being up there is to relate to people and what they need. I think it’s important that we recognize the things we lose, the things we gain–what had value.

Follow Council an TJ Gilmore on Twitter: @ThomasGilmore

#82: Waconia, MN 1/23/17

Big happenings in small Waconia! I’m excited about everything they’re doing!

“This is gonna be my tenth year and I’m excited about everything we’re doing!” exclaimed the president of the Chamber of Commerce as she fired off dozens of downright irresistible goings-on around the Wac:

  • “I get calls for this every year. People wonder, when is that Putt Putt Challenge?!”
  • “If you’re following Facebook, they had a thing called knockerball. It went viral! It was in Japan, it was all around the world–the rodeo in Waconia with this knockerball thing!”
  • “Artstock was super duper fun! It was a great weekend and I can hear myself using all these superlatives because it was a really good year!”

She paused to catch her breath and offer a she-a culpa. “I just read a really great tip that PowerPoints should have no words, so I apologize for all these words! It should just be all pictures.”

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Words?! Ugh, anything but words!

No apologies necessary! You’re doing great. Although, truth be told, some events she’s hyping are giving me trippy mental images.

  • “Nickle Dickle Day just continues to grow!”
  • “Scarecrow Tour–we had about 53 scarecrows around town.”

After chugging through a whole year’s worth of merriment in 15 minutes, she flashed an unapologetic grin. “That was supposed to be, like, five minutes!”

Then she hit the play button on a promo video with campy guitar music and levitating drone footage of everyday Waconians ice fishing, golfing, and swimming in mighty Lake Waconia.

But when the screen faded to black, Council Member Marc Carrier raised an accusatory finger. “The video was almost perfect,” he lashed out. “You should’ve finished with a sailboat.”

The Chamber president–recognizing a sloop enthusiast when she sees one–chose to agree vigorously with him. “The next video, I’ll do it with your sailboat!” she laughed.

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Carrier: “I brought some headshots of my sailboat with me–“

From the sexy video footage of their fair city, the city council turned to a mind-numbingly mundane topic: office machinery.

“We’re continually reviewing our processes,” a peppy young staffer began, “and with the age of our folder stuffer machine–we purchased the folder stuffer I believe in 2006. So it’s about ten years old and it’s starting to show its age.”

This is the first time in my life I’m hearing someone use the phrase “folder stuffer machine.” I imagine a Dr. Seuss-like contraption of moving arms and spinning wheels that turns flat folders into fat folders.

The folders were bulgy

The folders were bloozled

The folders were stuffed like the fur fluff of poodles!

“[The maintenance workers] are in here every other month changing out rollers or fixing something. And we just say, how can we be better with this folder stuffer machine?” the staffer asked rhetorically.

Acting Mayor Kent Bloudek was curious about the fate of the folder stuffer machine after they switched to a printing and mailing service. “Is the intent to hang onto the equipment until after the first year?” (Equipment? The folder stuffer has a name, sir!)

“I think that we can get rid of it within the next few months,” replied the employee coldly.

I think I know how THAT will go down:

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