Tag: Wisconsin

#71: Beloit, WI 12/5/16

Okay, I have to admit something: I had a hard time focusing on the Beloit city council meeting. It’s not because it was boring (it wasn’t). It’s not because I was under the influence of alcohol (I was).

It’s because all I could think about…was the wall.

The brick wall. AROUND the city council.

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Is this to keep the Big Bad Wolf out of council meetings?

Is it art? Is it a metaphor? Or is it a way of saying, “the only way you’re gonna ‘stick it’ to City Hall is with a bulldozer?”

Regardless, the city council had four more walls to worry about: a proposed “indoor entertainment venue.” To approve or not approve was the question.

“We were contacted by five neighboring property owners who are opposed due to concerns about traffic, parking, noise, and loitering,” a bespectacled city staffer informed the stern-looking councilors.

“The planning commission reviewed this and voted 6-0 to recommend denial.” She nodded to the building owner sitting alone in the audience. “I don’t think he’s trying to negatively impact the neighborhood.”

The man cautiously approached the wall. He was wearing a Carolina Tarheels fleece under a puffy jacket. “My name is Mario. I’m the owner. I’m trying, you know, to do that thing. Whatever that thing…” he stuttered with a heavy accent.

“My English is broken so hopefully you understand me,” he apologized. “If you guys say no, throw away that idea then continue. So technically you’re the boss.”

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Do it! Scale the wall!

But Councilor Sheila De Forest looked intensely grief-stricken. “I want to make sure that you were understood at the planing commission. Did you have a translator there at the meeting for him?”

The staffer slid next to Mario at the podium. “He didn’t ask for one. I didn’t know he needed one.”

“Did we OFFER him one, though?” De Forest pressed angrily.

“I…don’t know,” sighed the employee.

Councilor De Forest was livid. “I guess I’m not comfortable proceeding until we offer him a translator,” she demanded.

City Manager Lori Curtis Luther jumped into the fray. “I just want to make a cautionary note that we shouldn’t ASSUME what someone does or does not want,” she attempted to out-sensitize De Forest’s sensitivity. “I don’t want to imply that we think you NEED a translator. I think that can be insulting to some.”

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Some might say a fortressed city council is a tad insulting.

Riding in to the rescue was the third Good Samaritan, Councilor Marilyn Sloniker. “Would you like ME to ask him in Spanish if he understands what’s going on?”

Council President David Luebke quickly tried to sort out the ethical dilemma roiling the council. “I think…I think that’s…we’re pushing it too far. I don’t want to insult anybody’s intelligence.”

“I understand,” shrugged Sloniker. It’s no small irony that the council who erected a wall around themselves was worried about how to be properly inclusive.

However, when it came to Luebke’s fellow councilors, the gloves were off.

“The Holidazzle was fantastic. I happened to go in where you work, Mark,” he slyly grinned, referring to Councilor Mark Preuschl’s candy shop.

“They had samples up there, but for every one he gave out, he ate a piece too!” Everyone had a much-needed and de-stressing laugh.

No translation needed there!

Interview #20: Mesa, AZ PIO Kevin Christopher (with podcast)

This podcast interview is available on iTunes, Stitcher, Player FM and right here:

If you saw the Mesa city council meeting review, you’ll recognize Kevin Christopher as the announcer of a HUGE agenda. But did you know he once reported on city council meetings? He did–and he has the stories to prove it!

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Q: You were a journalist covering city council meetings in the early 1980s. How were meetings different in the ’80s other than, obviously, uglier eyeglasses?

A: Yeah, and interesting hair and fashion! I think the biggest change is the technology. Nowadays, it’s very easy to find out the agendas.

Q: Were there always a lot of spectators?

A: I think because [Midwesterners] have deep roots, they tend to be a little more passionate about issues. We always had pretty good crowds. Madison had like 20 aldermen–for a population of about 250,000–

Q: Wow! Chicago has 50 alderman, and they certainly have more than double the population of Madison.

A: Even that’s huge. Fifty people! Cincinnati had nine. Mesa has seven.

Q: What do you think is the ideal number of city council members?

A: I think seven or nine is good.

Q: When you started in Cincinnati, Jerry Springer was there. Did he stand out at all during council meetings?

A: He was pretty colorful. He was very charismatic and personable and I think that’s what was very appealing.

Q: You’ve sat through city council meetings in Cincinnati, Madison, and Mesa. Take me down the list–who stuck out?

A: I think the most memorable was a woman in Cincinnati. It wasn’t her real name, but she went by Fifi Taft Rockefeller. She claimed to have affairs with presidents and Winston Churchill. She’d be at city council almost all the time.

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Mesa, AZ Public Information Officer Kevin Christopher

A: Generally you put like a three-minute limit on people to speak. And in Madison, they didn’t do that. I’m thinking, “no wonder these meetings go six and seven hours.”

Q: They had no time limits?

A: No! I thought that was insane.

Q: It is! Other than running egregiously long meetings, how did council members treat you in the media?

A: As long as you were fair, they treated you very well. I remember in Cincinnati, they all enjoyed the microphones and cameras. If it wasn’t a particular hot button issue being debated at the time, they would get up in the middle of the meeting and you could go to the back of the room and talk.

Q: For your current job in Mesa, you read the entire agenda–45 items–and it took you eight whole minutes to get through. Do you prepare for that? Do you do vocal warm ups?

A: I look it over. There’s a few tricky–with restaurants and things that are in Spanish. My favorite of all time: a liquor license application for “What the Hell Bar & Grill.”

Q: Are there any memorable moments from Mesa?

A: When I first came to the city, we had one council member, Tom Rawles, who decided back in 2007 he was not going to stand for the Pledge of the Allegiance. So he kind of pulled a Colin Kaepernick. This was a protest against the war in Iraq. All of a sudden we started getting these people showing up at meetings and criticizing him. He actually got police protection for a few days to be safe. I’m not sure what he’s doing now.

#5: River Falls, WI 4/12/16

Hiya dere, Badger Staters! Who’s ready for a trip up the Kinnickinnic River to River Falls, Wisconsin? Yah? Sure, you betcha!

The chief cheesehead at the city council was Mayor Dan Toland. Don’t let his facial hair deceive you: while he may have the beard and mustache of a movie villain, he’s got the accent of every Little League coach within 1,000 miles of Chicago.

“If anybody in the audience has anything to say, now would be the time,” the mayor started out, waving people toward the guest book at the microphone.

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The Breakfast Club–I mean, citizens of River Falls, watch the meeting.

Jeff and Larry took the bait. “We’re planing to build in the new industrial park,” they said, looking like…well, two guys who’re gonna build in the new industrial park.

“For those that don’t know me, I was born and raised a River Falls native and grew up on a dairy farm around here,” said Jeff, wisely appealing to the utter-squirters in the crowd. “Mr. Cronk taught me in sixth grade, I believe. Science,” he said, waving at Alderperson David Cronk.

Larry briefly interjected: “I have to apologize, I’m not a native to Wisconsin…but I grew up in Stillwater, Minnesota.” Naturally, as a Minnesotan, he’s legally required to apologize whenever possible.

“We’re dreaming of being wildly successful and I think we’re well on our way,” Larry humblebragged.

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Jeff and Larry, or as I call them “Casual” and “Sporty”

The next commenter was…I wanna say…Tim?

“My name’s Tim. We’re also doing a development. Gonna be their neighbors it sounds like,” Tim said. “I just wanna introduce myself. Like I said, we’re really excited. Just wanted to say hi.”

Wow, the industrial park is gonna be quite the hang-out spot. Bring your s’mores and some Miller Lites over to Jeff, Larry, and Tim’s place!

“I got some plaques to hand out to some of our alderpersons that are retiring and stepping down,” the mayor said, bounding down from the dais. “So give me a minute…I’ll try to embarrass them.”

Three whole alderpersons were skee-daddling: Jim Nordgren (“whenever we need a fill-in, he’s always the guy”), Aaron Taylor (“he had other things to do”), and Dan Gulick (“he’s got all sorts of stuff going on”).

The mayor handed each of them a plaque, which I’m sure they’ll cherish as they do their other things and stuff.

Water talk was up next from Kevin Westhuis, the utility director. “We are gonna be painting Sycamore water tower this year and someone said, ‘well geez, I heard a rumor that you’re gonna paint the tower a different color and I heard that UW’s going on the tower.’ UW River Falls is gonna pay to put its little logo on the tower and it looks like this,” he said, holding up this obscene smutpiece:

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Sycamore water tower’s new logo is puuuuuuurrrrrreeeeee sex.

Finally, the police chief stepped up to break some news about the weather siren schedule. “Normally it’s the fourth Monday of each month at 1 p.m.But due to the emergency preparedness week, this Thursday we’re gonna have two different times. One’s gonna be at 1:45 pm. and the other one’s gonna be at 6:55 pm.”

“This is the first time we’ve done one so late in the evening,” he admitted, casting aside the dozens of “Jeopardy!”  viewers who will mistakenly think the loud buzzing is their hearing aid.

Final thoughts: By far the nicest buncha folks you ever did see at a council shindig! Jeff, Larry, and Tim are welcome to crash on my couch anytime. I give this meeting 2 out of 2 emergency airhorns.