Small-town charm was on full display at the Lawrenceburg city council meeting. From the Mayberry-like feeling in the room, you’d barely know that the country was in turmoil outside of city hall.
“We’ll be closed tomorrow for Veterans Day. The parade starts at 11 o’clock,” solemnly announced Mayor Keith Durham. “So guys, if you wanna ride with my dad, he’s got his truck ready to go.”
Wow, an official councilmobile! Crank up the bass and fasten on the truck nuts, boys! Oh, but bring a Snuggie, says Hizzoner:
“You’re welcome to ride with us in the back of the truck. It may be a little chilly. But we’ll have lawn chairs.”
It’s how Caligula would have traveled if his dad owned a truck.
“Next, gentlemen: a resolution for the city of Lawrenceburg to reappoint Gary Hyde as the representative to the Regional Solid Waste Planning Board,” the council’s reader said.
The mayor scratched his nose and glanced at Hyde across the room. “Are you okay with that, Gary?”
“Yes, sir,” the man responded stiffly.
“We have appointed people without their permission, you know,” the mayor explained to chuckles.
Your Honor, feel free to appoint me to anything you want without my consent. Solid Waste…Liquid Waste…Human Waste…I would be proud to represent your city at the waste level.
“Next, gentlemen: a resolution to approve the purchase of a 2009 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 crew cab from Mike James for the use of Lawrenceburg Parks and Recreation Department. Purhase price is $10,500.”
Council Member Jamie Sevier stopped writing and looked up. “How’d this deal come up, Chris?”
Chris Shaffer, the city administrator, elaborated: “This was approved in the budget to replace the old black van that Parks and Recreation uses. Pam looked at this vehicle and felt it was a good deal.”
“I know Mike was asking $13.5, Pam?” Council Member Ronald Fox inquired.
“Yes, sir,” Pam called out.
“And they talked him down from $13.5 to $10.5 so I believe it’s a pretty good deal,” he nodded at Pam’s negotiating expertise. “It looked like a pretty good truck.”
Mayor Durham frowned. “Are you going to sell the ‘mystery machine’ as a result?”
The city administrator grinned. “We’re gonna try to.”
“Might save it for Halloween!” Council Member Fox quipped.
Or perhaps the next parade. I’m sure you could fit lawn chairs and four councilmen inside–and Papa Durham could use his truck bed for less fleshy cargo.
“All right. If you’re in favor of this, let me know by saying aye,” the mayor boomed. Everyone was an “aye.”
But Fox was already waxing nostalgic for the van. “Mayor, maybe they can paint this pickup black!”
Final thoughts: I give 10 out of 10 stars to Pam for knocking $3k off the asking price. She should be allowed to ride in the truck with you guys.