Somewhere out there, a city council meeting is happening. And you're not watching it. But I am. Each week, I bring you the highlights, lowlights, and weirdlights from places you don't live.
July was noteworthy for two reasons. First: it was Mayor’s Month! That’s right, we talked on the podcast to an unprecedented four mayors from three continents. What we heard was heartwarming in some cases and tear-jerking in others.
Second: this being July, of course we saw fireworks! Mostly they were of the verbal variety. But in one case, someone actually brandished a firework in a council meeting. If you don’t remember that moment, perhaps you should browse our July Month in Review page.
And if you’re still questioning whether July’s council meetings are worth a second look, at least find out why this woman is so g–d– happy:
Emotions were running high at City Hall as Mayor Ray Mann called the meeting to order with a tearful farewell to an old friend.
“Daniela,” he murmured, “for the last time in this building that has served us well, would you call the roll?”
That’s right, the doors are closing on fabled Hydraulic Street and the message was clear: don’t leave anything behind tonight.
“We’ll be closed Thursday and Friday and Monday,” announced the city administrator. “We’ll be moving from this facility to the new facility.”
“We’ve got movers in place. So it’s gonna be a busy day Thursday and Friday,” the mayor observed, glancing sideways at a couple of the council members as if to say, “you’re still coming to carry boxes, right?”
The new Park City Hall, I’m assuming
But rather than rest up and conserve their energy, the council found themselves thrust into the middle of an existential crisis.
“What has happened is the Kansas legislature decided to take a more proactive approach encouraging people to use their seatbelts,” an employee explained to steely glances. “They established a ‘Seatbelt Education Fund.’ Fines for seatbelts will increase from $10 to $30, and $20 will be sent to fund this.”
Then he revealed the kicker: “They’ve also added a section that says that no county or municipality can change it. Because we have an ordinance on the books that says the seatbelt fine is only $10, we have to change it.”
Council Member Tom Jones jumped in sounding about as enthusiastic as someone who’s been asked to move an entire city hall. “We don’t have any choice,” he sighed.
He added, seemingly with sarcasm, “they’re ‘helping’ us out again.”
“Could they also help us load the vans on Thursday?”
But while Park City was cleaning up its ordinances, there was a lingering question: who would clean the brand new City Hall?
“They come in and clean the building while staff is not there?” quizzed Council Member George Capps.
“Yes, sir,” the clerk answered.
Capps seemed astonished. “What have you done to check their security?”
“They go through an extensive background check and get fingerprinted,” she assured him. “And those same individuals will have to clean every week.”
“Okay,” he eased up. “Thank you.”
Getting fingerprinted to clean a city hall? What kind of top-secret, classified, national security information are they stor–hold on. I just noticed something: EVERYONE is wearing official Park City-branded shirts! Man, that mayor runs a tight ship here.
I DEMAND YOU SEND ME ONE OF EVERY COLOR, MAYOR!
As the meeting wrapped up, people shared their fond–and not so fond–memories from the Fourth of July.
“I thought the holidays went real good, except all the fireworks really got the dogs upset,” Council Member Capps smiled wearily. “I, for one, got bit. It’s just the price we pay, I guess.”
While I admire his cavalier attitude in the face of, well, sharp teeth, someone else paid zero price for his canine encounter.
“I was able to be part of the pet judge contest,” bragged Council Member George Glover. “They had ‘wagging tail dog’ and ‘best sit-up dog,’ ‘best trick dog’….It was good to be part of that.”
To that, Council Member Melvin Kerr retorted, “I think I was the most popular councilman. I was handing out the ice cream!”
With a hearty laugh, the last meeting in the old City Hall was over. Onward to greener pastures!
Final thoughts: Seriously, I would like a shirt please.
City Council Chronicles 