Somewhere out there, a city council meeting is happening. And you're not watching it. But I am. Each week, I bring you the highlights, lowlights, and weirdlights from places you don't live.
Summer vacation? We don’t need no stinkin’ summer vacation! There are WAY too many city council meetings to cover and–despite the work of our time travel research team–so little time.
We saw a little girl get stoked to shake hands with every council member, heard about multiple people getting kicked out of council meetings, and experienced our first meeting in another language. If none of that is ringing a bell, go peruse our June Month in Review page.
And if you’re still not convinced that June’s council meetings were all that cool, have I got the picture to prove you DEAD WRONG:
“The next item on the agenda is ‘special matters,’ and that’s, uh, having me receive the C. C. Ludwig Award,” announced retiring Mayor Terry Schneider.
He practically whispered the last part, seeming slightly embarrassed to be standing in the middle of the room while superlatives were broadcast about him. Chalk it up to Midwestern modesty.
“A kind-hearted individual….we are eternally grateful,” Council Member Brad Wiersum read from multiple glowing recommendations. The mayor clutched his mic timidly with both hands.
“I want to reflect on a personal story that many of you haven’t heard,” he said cautiously, “that might be difficult for me to talk about.”
I’m all ears
“People asked me, how can I sit through a contentious, controversial meeting and keep my cool and keep it civil? My standard answer is, well, I’m an introvert,” he explained in a gravelly voice. “So it’s the easiest thing for me to do. While that is true, it’s not the real reason why. And, um….”
Schneider coughed lightly and stared at the ground, trying not to cry. A black-and-white photograph of the mayor’s grandfather flashed onscreen.
“My grandparents lived in Plymouth [Nebraska] and I spent most of my summers with my grandparents. It was a phenomenal experience–particularly for an introvert–to be in a low-key town.”
The entire room was listening silently.
“I didn’t realize until after the fact, when we’re in a small town, you didn’t have any toys. One time, I made a bunch of darts. I was doing it in the living room. He was sitting on a rocking chair smoking his pipe. I was throwing and all of a sudden, it stuck him right in the eye.”
IN THE EYE?!
A few people nervously chuckled. The mayor again paused to collect himself.
“He just sat there. Didn’t say a word. There’s this dart in my grandfather’s eye. So I walked up and took the dart out. He never said a word. That kind of quiet lesson taught me that there are consequences to your action.”
The mayor reached into his pocket and brandished a small trinket.
“I’ve got a little toy tank that he gave me when I was a kid. I would spend hours on the carpet running the tank around. So I carried this with me every day to remember to act like my grandfather. I realized after 20 years, I didn’t need to carry it.”
Council members smiled sympathetically as the mayor concluded: “My grandfather passed away exactly 50 years ago. So thanks for listening to that little story. Maybe somebody will be touched by it.”
I see the man’s point here. But if I may: when someone throws a dart into your eyeball, how on earth is the lesson to sit there until they come and pluck it out?! I’ve heard of turning the other cheek, but you’ve only got so many eyes–and those things are NOT dart-resistant.
I believe silence is golden, but retina damage is PERMANENT.
Speaking of which, in another first for me, council members abruptly donned official “Tour de Tonka” sunglasses as the bike ride’s director strode to the podium.
Awww, group picture!
“You guys are amazing,” he beamed, pulling out his phone and snapping pictures. “You look amazing, every one of you.”
The ride, he said, “is a sense of accomplishment. It’s not a race. If you can go that far, you deserve a pat on the back.”
Now THAT is a perfect lesson about life–and about being mayor.
Nancy LaRoche may be a new council member in Crystal, but she has been observing the meetings for quite some time. She told me that after the council changed its rules, meetings have gotten much friendlier. Plus, all of you animal lovers will hear about the council’s tiny unofficial mascot!
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Q: You are in your fifth month of city council meetings and the one thing the people want to know: WHO is Bart?!
A: Bart is a box elder bug that I named and gave a title to! My first night, Bart made his presence known on the dais. I watched him walk from one end to the other towards me and I went, “what a curious little fellow.”
Q: Ha! Would you call Bart a regular council attendee?
A: Yes. As a matter of fact, he seemed to favor [city manager Anne Norris] because one meeting he landed on her face, hung out on her cheek for a little bit, and then made his way down and hung out on her hand.
Q: Ick.
A: She was trying to get my attention but I was so engrossed being a new council member that I didn’t notice him with her.
Q: Does your accepting–and some would say cavalier–attitude about Bart send a message to any citizen that they can bring their box elder bug into the council meetings?
A: [Laughs] Well, they might be subject to one council member’s extreme disdain for box elder bugs. I heard a few slams on the counter. So, fair warning.
Q: Who is this Butcher of Crystal to whom you’re referring?
A: That was our Council Member Jeff Kolb.
Crystal, MN Council Member Nancy LaRoche
Q: You mentioned that the previous council members changed some rules about how the meetings operate. Why did they do that?
A: If you go back to council meetings prior to 2015, you will see the tenor and the tone quite changed from the way it is now. I think that was the decisive reason why those things were done. When a citizen is watching these meetings, it seems more of a personality conflict. Winning was more important than carrying on with the city’s business.
Q: So it’s not just that you got two new council members this year and everything was resolved. The old council said, “our procedures are making us not get along.”
A: The procedures back then left it wide open. I remember sitting in one meeting where they kept arguing about moving an agenda item–and it was because they could. It was more to antagonize either the mayor or the other council members. I believe they had a mediator come in because things were getting so difficult.
Q: Wow.
A: If you come back to now, it’s much more professional. Things are moving smoothly.
Q: Did more people show up to watch back then in case something wild happened?
A: I believe attendance is probably the same. But that lack of attendance might be speaking to the fact that overall, people are pleased with the level of services. Also, people are busy, so they watch us online. Our streamed meetings get quite a lot of views.
Q: Well, most of those views were from me. I’m sorry for goosing your numbers this week!
Follow Council Member Nancy LaRoche on Twitter: @nwlaroche
Scott Neal is a fun guy to talk to. Not only has he been the city manager of multiple cities around the Midwest, but he’s a bit of a YouTube star for his “On the Job” video series. We talked about what he learned from British city councils and how public commenters affect how he thinks about the city.
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Q: I want to start 4,000 miles away from Edina in England. You were there for ten days in 2005 and you met a queen’s dozen of local councilors. Did you learn anything about city council meetings over there–other than, obviously, their meetings are on the opposite side of the dais?
A: It was a lot of fun. We learned that most of the cities we dropped in on had a huge number of council members compared to the U.S.
Q: What number are we talking?
A: Two dozen, sometimes more. They were amazed that we could get work done with five council members. They had in their mind a link between the number of elected officials and the effectiveness of the organization.
Q: Have you ever gotten sad when a city council member retires or leaves?
A: I’ve had that a number of times over my career. The one that comes to mind most recently is a council member in Edina named Ann Swenson. She was part of the council that hired me. She was clear in what she wanted, which made her an easy person to work for.
Q: At her last council meeting, she said that you put your pen in the air when you want to speak, so she gave you a pen that lights up! Do you use that sparkle pen in meetings?
A: I don’t use it in council meetings. I do use it around my office, yeah!
Edina, MN City Manager Scott Neal
Q: In Edina, you’ve had a couple of council meetings that stretched on for petty long because you had a bunch of public commenters. You sent out this tweet at a meeting:
Is that a frequent occurrence?
A: No! I started in this line of work prior to city councils having their meetings shown on local access. I remember when we were making those decisions, city officials worried about that very thing happening: what if we’re having a public hearing and somebody watches it on TV and they decide to just come down and join in? I used to think that was unnecessary to worry about. [This] was the first time in my career it’s ever happened! I’m glad he put on his pants and came here–
Q: Wait, you assume they’re not wearing pants at home?!
A: It’s their privilege. It’s a free country.
Q: Amen to that. There was one contentious public comment back in October. A black man was recorded on video being handled roughly by an Edina police officer. At the next council meeting, for three hours people came up to the podium and they were outraged. When that many concerned people show up, do you think that means the city has failed?
A: I do not. Not necessarily. Doesn’t mean it [hasn’t]. I have had in my career a couple of council meetings that reached that level of anger. They haven’t come around very often, but it certainly makes you sit up and take notice.
It is Presidents Days here in the U.S., which means we are taking this day to honor all of the city council presidents/chairs/mayors who make their meetings run like a finely-tuned clock. But more importantly, let’s have a look back at where we chronicled with the January month in review.
Take a moment to find a city council meeting review you haven’t read or a podcast episode you haven’t listened to, then spend your holiday catching up!
Big happenings in small Waconia! I’m excited about everything they’re doing!
“This is gonna be my tenth year and I’m excited about everything we’re doing!” exclaimed the president of the Chamber of Commerce as she fired off dozens of downright irresistible goings-on around the Wac:
“I get calls for this every year. People wonder, when is that Putt Putt Challenge?!”
“If you’re following Facebook, they had a thing called knockerball. It went viral! It was in Japan, it was all around the world–the rodeo in Waconia with this knockerball thing!”
“Artstock was super duper fun! It was a great weekend and I can hear myself using all these superlatives because it was a really good year!”
She paused to catch her breath and offer a she-a culpa. “I just read a really great tip that PowerPoints should have no words, so I apologize for all these words! It should just be all pictures.”
Words?! Ugh, anything but words!
No apologies necessary! You’re doing great. Although, truth be told, some events she’s hyping are giving me trippy mental images.
“Nickle Dickle Day just continues to grow!”
“Scarecrow Tour–we had about 53 scarecrows around town.”
After chugging through a whole year’s worth of merriment in 15 minutes, she flashed an unapologetic grin. “That was supposed to be, like, five minutes!”
Then she hit the play button on a promo video with campy guitar music and levitating drone footage of everyday Waconians ice fishing, golfing, and swimming in mighty Lake Waconia.
But when the screen faded to black, Council Member Marc Carrier raised an accusatory finger. “The video was almost perfect,” he lashed out. “You should’ve finished with a sailboat.”
The Chamber president–recognizing a sloop enthusiast when she sees one–chose to agree vigorously with him. “The next video, I’ll do it with your sailboat!” she laughed.
Carrier: “I brought some headshots of my sailboat with me–“
From the sexy video footage of their fair city, the city council turned to a mind-numbingly mundane topic: office machinery.
“We’re continually reviewing our processes,” a peppy young staffer began, “and with the age of our folder stuffer machine–we purchased the folder stuffer I believe in 2006. So it’s about ten years old and it’s starting to show its age.”
This is the first time in my life I’m hearing someone use the phrase “folder stuffer machine.” I imagine a Dr. Seuss-like contraption of moving arms and spinning wheels that turns flat folders into fat folders.
The folders were bulgy
The folders were bloozled
The folders were stuffed like the fur fluff of poodles!
“[The maintenance workers] are in here every other month changing out rollers or fixing something. And we just say, how can we be better with this folder stuffer machine?” the staffer asked rhetorically.
Acting Mayor Kent Bloudek was curious about the fate of the folder stuffer machine after they switched to a printing and mailing service. “Is the intent to hang onto the equipment until after the first year?” (Equipment? The folder stuffer has a name, sir!)
“I think that we can get rid of it within the next few months,” replied the employee coldly.
Ah, Minneapolis. The prettier, more datable sibling of the Twin Cities. But at this week’s city council meeting, it was goodbye “Minnesota Nice” and hello “all-out warfare.”
No sooner had Council President Barbara Johnson opened the day’s agenda than a woman in the front row was hellbent on inserting herself into it.
“Council, I would like you to amend the agenda specific to Jamar Clark,” who was shot two weeks ago. “Our city isn’t responsive to the fact that-”
President Johnson leaned into the microphone. “Those who disrupt proceedings will be asked to leave.”
Front-row lady yielded no ground. “WHY ARE YOU…KILL OUR RESIDENTS…SHAME!” she shrieked over the president’s warning.
Protester: “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”
“Remove this lady!” Johnson ordered, summoning two burly sentinels to eject the rabble rouser. Incredibly, another woman in the front row stood to take her place.
“Consider this on the agenda today-” she repeated.
Ma’am, ma’am! We are trying to conduct a city council meeting,” Johnson pleaded, emphasis on “trying.” “Please remove this lady.”
Burly bouncer #1 rushed again to the front row to seize the protester. But–are you sensing a pattern?–Old Yeller #3 picked up the diatribe mid-sentence!
“BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE,” she bellowed. “A CHOICE ABOUT WHICH SIDE-”
“Ma’am, I’m going to ask security to remove you,” the president reiterated, a phrase that will now be forever seared in my subconscious.
I don’t need to tell you perceptive people what happened next.
“EVEN THE FORMER CHIEF OF POLICE-” the fourth synchronized shouter wailed, loudest of all.
LOCK HER UP WITH THE OTHERS! GAG THEM ALL, President Johnson thundered. (I’m paraphrasing here.)
Council President Barbara Johnson: “Save the scrawny one for me. I’ll finish her myself.”
At long, blessed last, the council could begin the People’s Business, although the lyrical chants of the dearly departed could still be heard from outside.
“The next item of business is to accept the minutes-”
NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE!
“Moved and seconded-”
NO JUSTICE!
“All in approval say aye-”
NO PEACE!
Council members had been holding their fire, but that all changed with consideration of the Third Avenue South bike lane proposal.
“I would like to move a substitute motion,” Councilmember Lisa Bender bombshelled.
Oh. S#%t. This daredevil diva wanted to take Third Avenue downtown from four lanes to an insane three lanes with bike space and a center turn lane!
“I use Third Street about four or five times per day,” physically fit Councilmember Jacob Frey bragged. “I use it more than anyone else in the city other than the guys that ride their bikes for Jimmy John’s.” It’s dangerous, he said. And he’ll be voting for the three lanes.
“I bicycle every day, year-round on Third Avenue, sometimes with my two small children,” Councilmember Bender responded. Jesus, is this a competition for who has the most badass commute? Does any council member ride a unicycle in the snow with immigrant laborers hanging onto their their back?
Councilmember Jacob Frey commutes every day to City Hall from his home in Handsometown.
President Johnson called the vote.
It failed. 6-7.
Even though the Rebel Alliance lost out to the Empire, they would still get their bike lanes. No-voting Councilmember Lisa Goodman rubbed in her victory: “I think we’ve won and the feeling that we haven’t won enough makes me sad.”
Final thoughts: On drama, I give this meeting 4 out of 4 screaming protesters. On results, I’ll award only 3 out of 4 lanes because Councilmember Goodman feels sad.
City Council Chronicles 